Did I ever tell you about the time The Doctor took me to meet Jim Henson? See he's a big Muppets fan, and really I just wanted to see Kermit and maybe give him a hug. Could've been a real nice time. But see it never works out right. TARDIS must have an aversion to Henson or something, cause 1979 never worked quite right either.
So we land and I'm thinking it'll be brill, and we'll see the whole production house or something. Maybe even see him come up with like The Swedish Chef yeah? The door swing open and there's a field. Which I mean sure it's overshot before, not a big deal really. Still the field is pretty flat, and flat usually doesn't exactly mean there's much to hide what else is around. 'Cept there's also a desert off too. Just a weird bit of landscape cause over on the other side is a forest with like maybe a half dozen trees.
It's weird. I'm already thinking it's not time to meet Kermit the Frog.
The Doctor? He's mostly just scratching his head yeah? Making this sort of screwed up face looking up at the sky like he missed a turn somewhere. Like if maybe he just looked hard enough he just might see that left he should'a taken or something.
Anyway that's when I heard it. This monotonous tone just sort of like a driving beat of some sort. It was going 'badger badger badger badger' and really it's not every day you hear that word. Well unless you work at a zoo or you raise them? Who raises badgers anyway?
So it's repeating at me and I'm sort of not thrilled to be looking around neither, but I do it anyway. It's like the field just popped up with like dozens of these badgers! They're standing up on two legs sort of bouncing and saying Badger Badger Badger over and over!
Right so the badgers are there, and the Doctor is sort of looking at them like he hasn't a clue what's going on. Which I'm pretty sure he didn't. It would've been weird enough just with the 'badger badger badger badger' but then from the other side of me I swear the mushroom that was sort of unnaturally large said something.
I mean it. The mushroom said 'mushroom mushroom' which I swear happened. I mean why would I make this up? Trust me you see a Slitheen fit into a skin suit of an obese woman you realize nothing you make up is going to sound weird at all. So when I hear the badger again I realize they all must have this teleportation thing cause it's empty field then they just start popping up, but before I even know what to think that mushroom is all calling again.
It does that like three times and then all of a sudden it's like it changes and they're all going 'snake a snake oh it's a snake' but I mean all I see is the damn badgers. Who again have vanished along with the mushroom.
I look to the Doctor and he's pretty much bobbing his head along, like he's got it stuck in his head. I'm sort of wondering where the snake is so I head toward the desert. I mean the rest of it's all flat anyway. By then it's back to the badger parade with special guest of the mushroom.
Course when the snake part comes I'm ready and sure enough. There it is. And then there it goes. It's like all the creatures have the teleportation thing and we're just sort of stuck in this infinite loop of them repeating over and over again.
Right so I look to the Doctor and I go, "So how'd we end up here? I mean this isn't exactly Muppets and Harry Monster givin' me a hug yeah?"
He looks at me right, and he goes, "Not sure really... maybe I'll call someone up on my Banana Phone! Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop! Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone Cellular, modular, interactivodular!"
That's about time when I headed back to the TARDIS and waited for him to come back and take us out of there.
Still haven't met Jim Henson though. Met John Hanson. Not the same at all. First President of Congress... yeah... impressive. Does he have a Grover Muppet?
So we land and I'm thinking it'll be brill, and we'll see the whole production house or something. Maybe even see him come up with like The Swedish Chef yeah? The door swing open and there's a field. Which I mean sure it's overshot before, not a big deal really. Still the field is pretty flat, and flat usually doesn't exactly mean there's much to hide what else is around. 'Cept there's also a desert off too. Just a weird bit of landscape cause over on the other side is a forest with like maybe a half dozen trees.
It's weird. I'm already thinking it's not time to meet Kermit the Frog.
The Doctor? He's mostly just scratching his head yeah? Making this sort of screwed up face looking up at the sky like he missed a turn somewhere. Like if maybe he just looked hard enough he just might see that left he should'a taken or something.
Anyway that's when I heard it. This monotonous tone just sort of like a driving beat of some sort. It was going 'badger badger badger badger' and really it's not every day you hear that word. Well unless you work at a zoo or you raise them? Who raises badgers anyway?
So it's repeating at me and I'm sort of not thrilled to be looking around neither, but I do it anyway. It's like the field just popped up with like dozens of these badgers! They're standing up on two legs sort of bouncing and saying Badger Badger Badger over and over!
Right so the badgers are there, and the Doctor is sort of looking at them like he hasn't a clue what's going on. Which I'm pretty sure he didn't. It would've been weird enough just with the 'badger badger badger badger' but then from the other side of me I swear the mushroom that was sort of unnaturally large said something.
I mean it. The mushroom said 'mushroom mushroom' which I swear happened. I mean why would I make this up? Trust me you see a Slitheen fit into a skin suit of an obese woman you realize nothing you make up is going to sound weird at all. So when I hear the badger again I realize they all must have this teleportation thing cause it's empty field then they just start popping up, but before I even know what to think that mushroom is all calling again.
It does that like three times and then all of a sudden it's like it changes and they're all going 'snake a snake oh it's a snake' but I mean all I see is the damn badgers. Who again have vanished along with the mushroom.
I look to the Doctor and he's pretty much bobbing his head along, like he's got it stuck in his head. I'm sort of wondering where the snake is so I head toward the desert. I mean the rest of it's all flat anyway. By then it's back to the badger parade with special guest of the mushroom.
Course when the snake part comes I'm ready and sure enough. There it is. And then there it goes. It's like all the creatures have the teleportation thing and we're just sort of stuck in this infinite loop of them repeating over and over again.
Right so I look to the Doctor and I go, "So how'd we end up here? I mean this isn't exactly Muppets and Harry Monster givin' me a hug yeah?"
He looks at me right, and he goes, "Not sure really... maybe I'll call someone up on my Banana Phone! Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop! Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone Cellular, modular, interactivodular!"
That's about time when I headed back to the TARDIS and waited for him to come back and take us out of there.
Still haven't met Jim Henson though. Met John Hanson. Not the same at all. First President of Congress... yeah... impressive. Does he have a Grover Muppet?
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